TNNY

S.O.S! Winter is Coming

I have this weird obsession with Game of Thrones. Ergo “winter is coming” as my title. But seriously people (who live in America/countries that are about to freeze)…winter is upon us, which means winter attire. I have this friend, mind you he’s from good ole’ New Orleans, and well, apparently he didn’t own a winter jacket. Until now. So based upon this almost-unfortunate situation, let me fill you in on essential winter items when living in a cold climate.

First thing’s first. Just because it’s cold does by no means give you the right to dress like a schlump (frumpy, bulky, bedtime-esque being). All it means is that you choose clothing and outerwear that is stylish but suited for colder temperatures. For example, as a Wisconsinite, the down parka was an essential piece in my winter wardrobe, but I ditched the knee-length, light brown parka (which my friends unanimously decided to name “the turd”)(for good reason) for a more mature, sophisticated winter jacket. It’s black with gold embellishments, sports the “Kenneth Cole” label, is knee-length, super warm, and perfect for a NYC winter. My goal here was to not look like a giant turd, dumping myself around the coolest city in the United States of America. How unfortunate that would be.

Next up: winter boots. Good heavens these are important. It doesn’t matter if they are heinous from every angle possible, would you rather be warm or soaking wet with oncoming frost-bite? Exactly. And, everybody understands the necessity for unstylish winter boots: they’re the only shoe meant to be covered in mud, slush, and a variety of other liquids dripping down the sidewalks here. But, if you’re looking for a good brand: Sorel. Not only are they somewhat “cute” for winter boots, but they are lined with cozy materials and are completely waterproof! They worked well in Wisco winters, so I’m excited to try them out in the slush New Yorkers call “snow”.

Alright, we’ve come down to the actual clothing itself. One must own jeans, a variety of long sleeve shirts, sweaters, sweatshirts, scarves(!!), and…don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten, long underwear. As dorky as they seem, it’s basically the same as wearing pajamas under your pants. What could be better? (Actually, there are many things that trump long underwear under pants, such as fuzzy socks given to me every Valentines Day by my mom or drinking tea while cuddling with a body pillow…you could replace that with “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” but since I am single, I cuddle with my roommate’s body pillow. And my roommate. Feel free to contact me for a good cuddle.)

Now, I’m not sure where I learned this piece of information that I’m about to share with you, but it has been proved that you lose body heat from your head and your feet. Do with that information as you will (basically I’m telling you that thick socks and hats are imperative during the winter months!).

We have a long winter ahead of us, so bundle up right! Keep those chills out of your system and refrain from looking like, well you know, a schlumpy, frumpy, obviously cold being by keeping it sensible in snow boots, cozy in fuzzy socks, and stylish in a non-turd-esque jacket.

And always remember to wear your long underwear.

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